Wednesday, October 7, 2009

control freak

"I could run like a coward for the door but I'll never get out.
you're freaking me out...
you lose your mind if you lose control, it makes you feel ashamed for the hearts you stole
and now your own hearts scared of an attack cause you can't give them back.
you're stressing me out when you prove me wrong,
you're wearing me out cause i've searched so long.

but I keep running right back around for more cause I'm in love with my doubt,
it's freaking me out"

today when i got up for school, i made the rash decision to forgo getting ready for school so that i might have a quick minute to make a CD for my daily treck to phoenix. inspired, i opened frostwire, downloaded some bright eyes/ death cab/ broken social scene/ copeland/ lydia, and realized that these all contained rather deeeeep depressing lyrics.
deep depressing lyrics are definitely a "probably shouldn't"
in my new plan for a positive outlook on life.
we all know i'm severely addicted to sad, sad, saaaad, the sadddest of songs.
i decided that i could handle it as looong as i knew that i had formally addressed the temptation,
so i cleverly labeled the cd "save for a rainy day," and left for school.
upon reaching QT, i thought about it and decided that even though it was not a rainy day, such as the one i had clearly promised myself i would wait for, i wanted to listen to my new cd.
no one would knoww.

in the time it took me to get from QT to the freeway, not only had i put the CD in but it had also started to rain and continued to do so on and off alllll the way to school.
no better description for a rainy day if i do say so myself.
so coincidence?

i think not. MLIA.

good tuesday night consists of:
-cookin' spaghetti with my love
-watching the office for hours
-j. crew cataloging
"dancers probably have to be light on their feet, right?
...i don't think i could ever be a dancer :/"

-getting on the internet and specifically avoiding facebook
"dont you dare get on facebook."

"what? me?! no.
i'm hardly ever on the internet. yeah, like...
maybe you should just email me sometime.. that'd be cute."
"oh yeah, totally. whats your email?"
-ventures to walmart for school supplies
(keisha loves school supplies.)

ps. makenna, walmart has these for 97 cents!
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goal for the week:
i need to get caught up in school
and actually go to school.

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