Wednesday, March 9, 2011

keishark

just trying to live up to my namesake.
as you and i learned in elementary school, most sharks cannot stop swimming without losing the ability to breathe. i don't know the actual facts or breeds or really much in depth about what this applies to, other than that is how i feel. i feel like i'm constantly in motion right now. not running away from my sadness so much as preventing myself from suffocating by its hand.
this past week has been, without a doubt, the hardest week of my entire life.
there has been so much loss so close to my heart, its unbearable. i don't remember shedding so many tears in such a short amount of time. tears for myself, tears for others, tears of happiness and tears just because i don't know what else to do. I don't take sadness lightly, and though i have a sensitive heart, i am usually able to look on the bright side of every situation (not that thats not what i'm doing right now, it is. its the only way i know how to cope) these things are just very life-altering situations that will not pass easily.

really, i'm so thankful for times like these that show me just how strong the gospel is and how strong the gospel has made me. i'm blessed with an unwaivering sense that everything will be okay in the end, and though thats cliche, i don't think there is a more comforting thought to be running through my head right now. i'm thankful to know about life after death. i'm thankful to see the big picture and to know that even in the worst of times, i have a million reasons to not succumb to my sadness. I'm thankful for my family, both at home and at work. i'm blessed to be surrounded by such strong people. i never thought 40-60 strangers could get along so well just by being placed in the same restaurant. true, we have our spats and debates but we love each other. we do. they are my best friends.
of course, i can't even BEGIN to express my gratitude for Klay at this time in my life.
he is my rock: unwaivering in times of trial - steady when i need someone to lean on. He doesn't have to say much, i know i do enough talking for the both of us ;) and he has helped me in ways i can't put into words. Literally from the moment i met him, i've looked up to him as an incredible individual, but we all have our downfalls right? we're human? mmm no not Klay hahaha ;) okay, this one time he rinsed off angel hair pasta and you're not supposed to do that, but all in all he's both strong and intelligent through and through. he is both a voice of reason and a place of refuge for me when i need to get away from it all. The times we've spent together this last week will be forever engraved in my mind, they mean so much to me. You are my heart, babe. My very very best friend. i can't wait until "this too shall pass" and we can move on 100x stronger than ever.
"i run to you" -lady antebellum

rip bobby, the world lost a great man yesterday.

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