Sunday, April 19, 2009


its been a while so i'm obviously not going to give an in depth analysis of how things have changed,
but i can probably manage a day to day update of the present.

i don't really know how to define what i've become.
its not bad, its good its just different.
its me, only me.
but i need that, i need it soo much.

i've made a million new friends,
but with new friends comes new disappointments and frustrations that i wasn't expecting.
its life, though.
i wish i had more money to go shopping.
i'm really in to 'the look' right now but i'm missing out because i can't buy it,
my parents wont buy it for me like everyone elses.
(don't worry mom and dad, i don't blame you haha)

i guess the solution to that is how much i'm working lately.
i worked every day this last week, so thats like a good solid 30 hours (woohoo!)
and next week i work every day but only to about 23 hours or so.
but still, thats a 53 hour pay check in its self, and i usually accumulate extra hours through the week.
i think my main goal for work right now is to step up my game.
i'm good when it comes to customers, but being sick and tired lately, i've let the "performance around the workplace slip" and i haven't vacuumed or straightened things up.
i'll make sure to do a mass cleaning sesh on monday for everything i missed last week.

i'm so sick right now.
i actually don't feel sick so much as my throat hurts, i can't stop coughing and my voice is GONE.
i'm not achey or tired or anything though.

at work i watched this movie of kelsie's, it was so good.
it was kinda dirty and "thirteen" like in certain parts, but i really liked it for some reason.
its called "normal adolescent behavior"
i also watched "where the heart is, which i love. natalie portman is soo gorgeous.

of course i can't wait til school gets out, but don't even get me started on that subject.
i'm sure you know exactly how i feel.

i miss the past but i'm so ready for my future!

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Without you, but I have to
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

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